Often, we aren't as "perfect" as we imagined we could be or, worse yet, should be. I had a wonderful weekend in Steamboat. The whole family sharing a hotel room was crowded, messy and fabulous (I would like to apologize in advance to any future roommates Eliza and JD may have). I literally laid awake in bed in the early hours of the morning just being so thankful that we were in this moment together - all sleeping mere feet away from each other in an amazingly beautiful place. And I was also proud of myself because I forgot to pack my underwear and handled it really well.
Normally I would have felt like an organizational failure by forgetting such an important and personally sensitive wardrobe element. But not this time. I just calmly informed the family that I would be needing some undies and, while we were in Walmart getting a cooler to hold cocktails for our 5:00 games, I bravely found a nice set of Hanes Wedgie-Proof bikinis. I also would have fretted silently about the cooties that may be on these garments, but I stayed cool. I purposely selected undies with packaging that seemed too intricate to reproduce on a returned item. Turns out, I was fabulously wedgie free (and cootie free, as far as I can tell) the entire weekend. It really was quite something.
I thought to myself how well I'd handled a crazy weekend - traveling with a team we didn't know that well, dealing with lots of new people and three days of group activities all while wearing underwear that could have been worn by someone with less than perfect hygiene. But I was calm, cool and collected through it all. I was present and very, very grateful.
Upon our return, however, the tide turned. I came back to a work project that feels a little overwhelming to me. On top of that the kids are finishing the last week of school and, while I'm at one of my rare, super-busy periods, I'm most needed at home. And there are some other little "stressy" things rattling around my head that are sucking up a lot of my extra energy (we all have them, right?). We even ate meat on Meatless Monday. It was salmon so it wasn't like a side of beef or anything, but what made me feel really weird is I realized we blew Meatless Monday on Tuesday. I'd gone through Monday's meal prep and consumption and never once realized it was our big "meatless" day.
So after a minor panic attack, welling up during a 10 minute yoga practice, and standing in the pantry eating handfuls of corn chips and crackers, I have accepted that sometimes I'm going to fall short. I realized we must remind ourselves that it's all going to work out one way or another - whether we do it perfectly or not. The bumpy parts never last forever. Sometimes they drag on a bit, but I think the worst happens when we don't admit when we're not in the best place. A stiff upper lip can really get in the way of a clear path to happiness. Sometimes we need to cry and feel worried and eat all the gluten that is available to us. Then, when we feel we've given ourselves some time to be sad or worried or angry, we need to move on.
I'm doing the best I can. I'm going to always try to put my best self forward, but also to accept I may not always be able to give 100% in every single area. I'm just getting it done as joyously as possible. And no one needs to know I'm actually wearing unwashed underpants from Walmart while I'm doing it.
I have this on today:
It's my cherished Kimberly necklace over yet another print. This is one of my favorite shirts from Anthropologie. I'm never sure if the things on it are flowers or moths, but I like it anyway because the colors are lovely. And this necklace looks fab over it. Honestly, if you get one necklace this season, I'm convinced it should be this one.
gratitude: husbands who listen, flexible kids, marinated tomatoes, my own shower
thanks and love.
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