Friday, April 26, 2013

This Is A Tad Deeper Than Normal Posts, But Don't Think For A Minute I Am Any Less Weirded Out By Life Sometimes.

So I had a birthday yesterday.  It was great.  I wore this.

I felt the look was sort of a cross between Mrs. Roper and The Beatles during their East Indian phase.  Which really, when I think about it, kind of captures my current state of mind.  Like Mrs. Roper, I enjoy being at home.  Personally, I like working out of the house and not having a set schedule to adhere to every day.  And I like a caftan - or, in my case, clothing that sometimes has a caftan feel to it, like a tunic.  And like The Beatles during their late 1960's experimental phase, I too am seeking insight and finding my way along some new paths.  I also do a lot of yoga.  The Beatles did give up psychedelic drugs during this time, so I must admit I avail myself a glass or two of wine on a regular basis and I am taking Claritn-D right now.  Just to be clear.

I cropped the picture so you can't see the bottom of my shirt, but it's wrinkly and has a big spaghetti sauce stain on it.  Driving home from dinner, the to-go box silently leaked all over my lap.  You'd think I would have noticed it early on, but apparently a moist, garlic-scented warmth spreading across my midsection is not strange enough to get my attention.  It's an imperfection and at this point in my life, I've accepted that those imperfections will show up from time to time.  I'm starting to learn that imperfection isn't the end of the world.  Just crop it out.  Use some stain remover.  Forge ahead and take the picture anyway.

So that's where I am.  Finding my way and realizing that even in my mid-forties, it's okay to not have the perfect vision of where I'm going.  I'm committing to act on what I do know I want in my life and hoping/believing/trusting that the clarity will come where it's needed.  So I will write, I will enjoy food, style and decor, I will be creative, I will be the best mom and wife I can be, I will take care of what I have, I will be open to learning, I will be present, I will remind myself that what I do everyday is a choice, I will remember to 'be love' and I will be grateful.  Because, really, life is pretty fabulous.

I will probably do other things as well, but I can't think of them right now.  And I understand there will also be days when I think that last paragraph is a bunch of hooey.

You know, each day is like a birthday.  It marks where you've been, but also gives you an opportunity for a fresh start.  There is wisdom, but also curiosity.  And celebration, because every day really is a gift.

So there's that.

Since it looks like a sunny and wonderful weekend, enjoy a sip and a nibble outside.  Try some Parrano cheese with a very simple cracker.  The cheese tastes best when it's been out of the fridge for a while and any food enjoyed on a patio tastes better than it does inside, I think.

gratitude:  over-the-counter meds, whatever yoga pose I did yesterday that made my back feel better, the fact that I get to live in the same house with Eliza, JD and Geoff, eucalyptus oil sprinkled in the shower

thanks and love.

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