Monday, September 16, 2013

And Now For Something Completely Different, Let's Talk Fantasy Football. For What It's Worth, Marshawn Lynch Is No Friend Of The Unicorns.

So, for the first time ever, I'm in a fantasy football league.  My team is called the Unicorns.  I chose the name because it is a fantasy league and unicorns lend themselves naturally to a "We're Number One!" cheer.  Plus, we have a salute (right arm fully extended out of your forehead) and a "Hook 'em Horn" chant.  I like an identity concept with carry-over potential.

I had a great first game.  I'm not 100% sure who all my players are, but they seem to be very nice people.  Since I'm new to football team ownership, I'm modeling my management style after Abby Lee Miller on Dance Moms.  Love her or hate her, she is effective and I think her pyramid technique makes it very clear who's on top and who's on the bottom each week.  My 'Unicorn of the Week' prize is the equivalent to being on top of the pyramid.  It goes to the player making the biggest contribution to the team and last week it went to Andrew Luck.  I picked him as my quarterback because Luck and Unicorns just seemed a nice match and for some reason Payton Manning had already been selected when my turn came around.

This week, I'm a little disappointed in the 'Corns.  We were projected to have almost 135 points (thanks to some key player adjustments) and unless Antonio Brown earns 40 points in tonight's game, we're going to have our first bitter taste of defeat at the hands of J.D's team, Jake from State Farm.  I don't like losing - and if you've watched any Dance Moms, neither does Abby Lee.  If you screw up your solo or your headpiece falls off in the group number, you will find yourself at the bottom of her pyramid so fast it'll make your head spin.  So, to make a point that my starters need to start playing like Unicorns, I'm awarding the 'Unicorn of the Week' award to my entire bench.  That's right.  The bench players are on top of the pyramid now.  I hope the Unicorns get my message.

I'll be working a bit these next couple days to determine my line-up for next week's games.  I try to imagine what Abby Lee Miller would do in my situation.  She's pretty ruthless, and I think she wouldn't hesitate for a moment to replace Stevan Ridley (who brought me a measly four points as one of my starting running backs) with Rashad Mendenhall (who pulled in a solid 15.40 on the bench).  I mean, I think Abby Lee truly believes each of her dancers could be the best on the team on any given day - and that's how I feel about my players (mostly because I know little to nothing about each of them).  You know what they say in show business, "You're only as good as your last performance."  So, maybe Rashad gets the call next week.  And I might be in the market for a new defense too.  Seven points in a game isn't going to win us the championship, Texans.

Unicorns are mythical creatures, but when they trample you on the field of play, your pain is real. (Still working on our trash talking.  It doesn't come easily to the 'Corns - it's just not in our nature).

I'm wearing this today.

It's clear there are some major gaps in the wardrobe that need filling before Fall arrives.  Until then, summer tops are 'autumned up' with a cardigan.  Bor-ing.

And it's Meatless Monday.  I really need to redeem myself from last week.  Our stir-fry went all wrong so this week I'm sampling a new recipe -  Farro Salad with Creamy Artichoke Dressing.  It's a Williams-Sonoma recipe that is available also on Oprah's website - I found it using the Flipboard app on my iPad.  The salad is described as "toothsome."  Is that a good thing?

gratitude:  less rain, lists, the smell of clean laundry, my new Burt's Bees lip gloss

thanks and love.

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