I just can't get into the swing of things until the kids go back to school and it feels a little weird that their first day back will be on a Wednesday. Monday does make more sense, right? Not that I would ever want to shorten the time I have with my kids here at home - trust me, if there was any way I could homeschool them without causing intellectual damage to them or to myself, I'd be all over it. But it's best they're educated by professionals rather than someone like me who would have them calculate 20% off the sale price at Nordstrom as a math lesson. They need school.
But it's a little anti-climactic to see the rest of the world off and running today - the first Monday after the New Year - while I'm at home rethinking every goal I set and attitude I hoped to cultivate in 2014. I feel like I'm the last guy to jump on a skydiving trip. I'm sitting in the back of the plane watching everyone else leap out the door and begin their adventure - while I start second guessing myself, my decisions, and quietly fearing that I may have incorrectly loaded the parachute in my pack.
I know this is a temporary setback - once we get back into the swing of things, I'll be better able to navigate myself and my plans and my mind's clever way of making me feel insecure. If 2014 goes as planned, my mind better just enjoy these last moments of power, because I have every intention to tame my inner voice into submission making it a friendly asset for me rather than a middle school Mean Girl. So I'll wait and trust that when it's time for me to jump, I'll go. I may have to ask the pilot to circle around again, but I'll do it. I'd just like to apologize in advance for any screaming or crying that may occur in the process.
I'm wearing this.
A totally at home day in which I'll be diving into a closet overhaul - my seasons are colliding and if I don't get things organized, I will end up in a sundress and Sorels.
For Meatless Monday we're having my favorite decadent pasta dish. It's pasta with sauteed veggies of any sort - we're doing cherry tomatoes, zucchini and summer squash - held together with leftover Gorgonzola cream sauce from dinner last night. Delish!
gratitude: blue sky and snow, Geoff's listening skills and patience, gas fireplaces, pillows
thanks and love.