Wednesday, January 8, 2014

I Think Fears Can Sometimes Be Healthy And Can Actually Keep Us Alive. I'm Afraid Of Poisonous Snakes And Avoid Them Because I Want To Stay Alive. So Far So Good. Thank You, Fear.

Facing Fear.  We get told all the time that we're just not living life fully if we're not regularly facing and defeating Fear.  I disagree.  While I love Eleanor Roosevelt, I think she was waaaay off base when she said, "You must do the thing you fear the most." 

I think pushing ourselves out of a comfort zone is a healthy thing to do and playing only when you have a guaranteed win isn't going to give you much in return, but constantly making yourself do something that sucks the life out of you is missing the point completely.   Fears are very individual and we need to understand that choosing which fears to face requires a finer touch.

Take for instance cold calling customers.  A lot of people can do this without any struggle - it's a major part of a lot of job descriptions.  Most people, I imagine, don't particularly enjoy it but do it anyway as it's a means to an end.  When they've done it though, they feel accomplished and invigorated.  However, when I'm faced with this task, I teeter on the verge of an anxiety attack.  I'm talking gut wrenching fear that seriously makes me consider having a few tequila shots even if it's only 9 o'clock in the morning.   When I face this particular fear, I don't feel victorious.  I feel drained and not myself.

However, writing blog posts and putting them out there for all to see could cause someone to want to dip into the Jose Cuervo before lunch.  But for me, that's not the case.  Writing and sharing what I've written is scary, but fun.  And I feel braver and stronger after I've written and posted something (some things I'm more proud of than others, of course). 

Fear facing is not one size fits all.  The fears we, as individuals, should face are the ones that give us a positively energized feeling after conquering them - that make us want to do it again because we learned things during the process and like the end result.

If a particular fear makes us feel sick before, during and after facing it head on, then perhaps we need to take the burden of that battle off the table. That kind of struggle diminishes us and takes us backward in our development. It's not helping us become the person we want to be and that, I believe, is more the point in addressing our fears.  

Facing fear is more about a willingness to do the hard stuff that brings us closer to our goals or to what our individual ideal is.  It's personal.  And we need to be selective in what challenges we bring into our lives.  Life is hard sometimes just as it is, and the additional fears we choose to face need to be ones that help us thrive and grow, not that add an unbearable weight to our psyche.

And that's my humble opinion.  Today.

I'm wearing this:

I will be replacing light bulbs throughout the house today.  I live a very exciting life and I must dress accordingly.

gratitude:  nail polish that stays on, champagne, everyone making it off to school on-time and in pleasant moods, Amazon

thanks and love.

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