Thursday, April 16, 2015

I Came To On A Pile Of Laundry. This Pretty Much Sums Up How Last Weekend Went.

When I stopped moaning and opened my eyes I saw a pair of inside out underwear and could smell the shirt JD wears under his shoulder pads. He'd left it in his lacrosse bag for over a week and I recalled demanding he get it out before I put this load in the wash. I felt the dampness of a used washcloth under my right cheek. It felt nice. The pain hit almost immediately - right on the outside corner of my left eye.

Otis and I had just had our second collision in four months. The first occurred shortly after we adopted him. I was doing laundry and bent down to pick a sock off the floor that had fallen from the pile I was folding on the bed. As I was heading down to get the sock, Otis jumped on the bed - probably in an effort to help me with the folding or because he likes warm laundry. My mouth hit his head and I ended up with a fat lip and two giant scabs that made me look like a member of Spinal Tap at Bobbi Fleckman's party throughout our entire holiday season.

This time we hit heads. I was bending down to grab a load off the floor and he ran out of the bedroom like a racehorse because he heard voices outside and that meant we were clearly under attack and he needed to man his station at the front door to prevent the invaders from gaining entry to our house. The swelling started right away, which wasn't bad, but when I woke up on Sunday I looked like I'd lost a fight. I have a major league black eye and, based upon how dark the bruising is, I will likely look normal again about the time the kids go back to school (I'm talking Fall 2015). I think these injuries prove it's time we hire a professional launderer. Or I need to work on developing a laundry helmet.

Facial bruising was really just the tip of the ol' iceberg over here this weekend. Prior to my injury I had successfully broken two iPads in less than 12 hours. One I dropped in the bathroom after a heavy application of hand lotion and the other I threw off our balcony because I didn't know it was in our comforter at the time I gathered it up to shake off all the dog hair.

On Saturday night I reaffirmed that mixed drinks are not my friend. I am clearly a wine and beer only kind of girl.

Also, Eliza's car ,which was parked on the street in front of a friend's house, was hit by a drunk driver. Thank God she wasn't in it or near it at the time. But the whole shebang involved an arrest of the driver, a towing of the car, and now likely, a new car purchase due to the fact that the 4-Runner (which Geoff and I bought when I was pregnant with Eliza) is worth less than the required repairs.

And we have a new dog. Another adorable shelter dog named, Lucy. On Monday, less than a week after we adopted her she needed to have a very expensive dental procedure. This came as no surprise to us.

Here are some pics of the fur squad.

Otis telling me Lucy is chewing his elephant toy and he can't believe this is how it's going to be from here on in.

Lucy being demure.

They are hiding. I think. And yes, that's a bra there because I keep it real.

They smell something potentially edible.

But even through it all, Life is so good. Eliza wasn't in her car. Rescue dogs are wonderful. I am fully 'cleansed' after my margarita experience. iPads are replaceable. And the bruising on my eye really looks like a very impressive cosmetic application. Much to be grateful for, and this kind of stuff, entire weekends like this, help us to practice steadiness. No one in the family unraveled. Humor was maintained. I was impressed and proud.

gratitude: we're all here, yoga even with dogs on the mat, being asked to join Amy's class, Geoff's new anti-snore pillow (we may have something here)

thanks and love.

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